As I take a moment to reflect on what could have been, it's clear that the potential for a thriving, sustainable future was within our grasp. If only the foundation of our family systems had been built on teamwork rather than destructive competition, the dream we had for our regenerative agriculture farm in Peyton, Colorado, would be a reality today.
The Vision for Our Farm
Our regenerative agriculture farm should be fully up and running, a beacon of sustainability and innovation. In fact, it should be completely paid off. This isn't a mere fantasy—we had the money to make it happen. But that wasn't what Milly deemed important.
Had we been able to work together as a cohesive unit, supporting each other's dreams and responsibilities, our farm would be flourishing. Here are the key elements of that dream:
Aquaponics Greenhouses: We should have two or three aquaponics greenhouses by now, providing a continuous supply of fresh, sustainably grown produce and fish.
Off-Grid Living: Our house should be completely off-grid, with our septic system converted to a gray water system, ensuring minimal environmental impact.
Financial Freedom: We should be debt-free, allowing us to invest in further innovations and community projects.
Community Involvement: We should have established education centers, training programs, community events, a full bakery, grain mill, and grain storage facilities for the community. Our dream was to create a hub of learning, sustainability, and connection.
The Path for Our Family
If teamwork had been our guiding principle, the paths for each of us would look vastly different:
Our Daughter: Having graduated from high school, she should be confidently stepping onto the path of adulthood, pursuing her passions without the weight of unnecessary doubt and invalidation.
Our Son: Now in high school, he should be thriving in an environment that encourages growth and exploration, free from the shadows of destructive competition.
Julie: She should be leading various efforts, making remarkable things happen on the farm and in the community, driven by a support system that values her contributions.
My Health: My health should be supported, enabling me to be an asset rather than a perceived liability to my family. I should have been supported during my layoff, not left to struggle alone.
The Reality of Destructive Competition
The dream was not just possible—it was within our reach. However, destructive competition and a lack of mutual support thwarted our progress. Instead of fostering self-responsibility, ownership, and encouragement, the focus shifted to individual gain and undermining others.
Milly's influence created an environment where destructive competition thrived, eroding the very foundation needed to support our collective aspirations. The result has been a series of missed opportunities and unfulfilled dreams.
Moving Forward: Embracing Teamwork
While we cannot change the past, we can choose to move forward with a renewed commitment to teamwork and mutual support. Here are some steps we can take to rebuild and realign with our original vision:
Open Communication: Foster an environment where open, honest communication is encouraged, and each person's voice is heard and valued.
Shared Goals: Re-establish shared goals that reflect the collective aspirations of the family, ensuring everyone is working towards a common purpose.
Mutual Support: Actively support each other's efforts and dreams, recognizing that collective success is built on individual contributions.
Self-Responsibility: Encourage self-responsibility and ownership, empowering each family member to take charge of their roles and responsibilities.
Healing and Forgiveness: Focus on healing past wounds and forgiving ourselves and each other for missed opportunities, allowing us to move forward with a clean slate.
The Relationship We Could Have
The relationship between us could be one of collaboration, mutual respect, and unwavering support. Here's what that relationship could look like:
Trust and Respect: Building a foundation of trust and respect where each person feels valued and heard. We would understand that each of us brings unique strengths and perspectives to the table, and these should be celebrated rather than undermined.
Shared Vision: Working together towards a shared vision for our family and our farm. This means aligning our goals and aspirations, and supporting each other in achieving them.
Empathy and Compassion: Practicing empathy and compassion in our interactions. Understanding that everyone faces challenges and that offering support and encouragement can make all the difference.
Collaboration Over Competition: Shifting from a mindset of competition to one of collaboration. Recognizing that we are stronger together and that success is not a zero-sum game.
Celebrating Success Together: Celebrating each other’s successes and milestones, knowing that these achievements contribute to the collective well-being of the family.
Emotional Support: Being there for each other emotionally, especially during tough times. Offering a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear can provide immense comfort and strength.
Conclusion
The dream we had for our farm and our family was not just a possibility—it was a tangible reality that could have been achieved through teamwork and mutual support. While destructive competition has caused setbacks, it is never too late to realign and rebuild.
Looking at things as Opportunities and being Proactive, these go a long way in life!
By embracing the principles of teamwork, self-responsibility, and mutual support, we can create a future where our dreams can still flourish. Let us remember that when we work together, anything is possible.
Reflecting on these thoughts has been both sobering and hopeful. If you find yourself in a similar situation, know that you are not alone. Together, we can find strength in our shared dreams and commit to building a future grounded in teamwork and mutual support.